"Consult not your fears, but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what is still possible for you to do."
~ Pope John XXIII
SOCIAL ANXIETY is different from mere shyness. In people for whom resistance or fear of social situations has become a phobia, such extreme anxiety severely restricts their lives, they may be afraid to talk to a potential seller, or pick up the phone and make even a "warm call." Some things might be just a little scary, but others, like speaking at a public meeting, are terrifying. In addition to limiting them socially, severe anxiety may prevent sufferers from going after new business or a new job position, harming them financially. Many real estate agents experience social anxiety, avoiding (for example) active prospecting or addressing a zoning board. It is not always chronic and severe -- there are many, lesser examples you can work through personally, or coach others to get through these minor but still frightening challenges.
THERE ARE MANY social anxiety symptoms -- fear of being in situations where you don't know people, or where you may be judged, or be the center of attention... worrying about humiliating yourself by doing or saying some things that could be embarrassing. Although severe social anxiety may require help from a medical expert, there are some self-help techniques for those fears that are borderline, whose background or experiences may not have afforded them an opportunity to deal with social situations early on.
- First acknowledge your fears, then try to discern their cause.
- Begin changing your opinion about yourself. Visualization works well in these cases, allowing the individual to "see" a more positive outcome than the negative one already planted in your psyche.
- Prepare for conversation, e.g. find an interesting blog or news article you can talk about.
- Focus on personal qualities you like about yourself.
- Adopt stress management techniques. Good eating and exercise pay off here.
- Set realistic goals. More importantly, see yourself completing the goal beforehand.
- Pay attention to how often embarrassing situations actually occur. Probably less often than you realize.
NO ONE has to live with needless fear and stress. Insecurities, hang-ups, bad experiences can be overcome. Be confident, have hope, love yourself. Then watch the magic begin!
"Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which other thoughts are drained."
~Arthur Somers Roche
~ By Marty Rueter
